I
miss composing. I really do. I've gone back to school and, between
my day job, school, and family responsibilities, there’s not much
time to make music. It sucks.
The
stress mounts each day I'm unable to make music. A little time with
my piano or guitar can be helpful, but I really need at least 2 hours
a day to make me happy. When I'm composing music, I lose track of
time. I believe my consciousness enters a different state where my
focus precludes the passage of time and nearly everything else.
Performers
often experience this loss of time, as well. When a work is mastered
and performed well, so that the performer can stop worrying about
technical issues and focus on the musical expression, something
subtle changes in the mind. The fingers know which keys to press, the
lungs when to breathe and the attention is focused on the emotional
energy and musical thought. The performer, instrument, and music
become as one.
The
experience is truly amazing. Recently I was able to play one of
Chopin’s Nocturnes nearly perfectly, for the first time. Sure, I
made a few minor mistakes early on, but overall it was a decent
performance. There are a few scale-like runs in the right hand that I
had struggled with. That evening I rendered them flawlessly. Everyone
else was in bed. I had the living room to myself. The house was
quiet. As the last notes faded into silence, my consciousness came
back to the room. A feeling of peace flooded through me. I held onto
that sense of “rightness” as long as I could, but of course, it
left me as the requirements of living returned.
In
light of that experience, and many similar ones, I've started
wondering about the nature of music, and consciousness. The
experience was not unlike being in deep meditation, leading me to
wonder if creating this kind of music may be a similar activity. All
acts of creation may share these similar consciousness changing
traits.
This
sounds like a research project to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment